Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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