Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I have already put on my inside pants.
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