Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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