Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
