ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
