Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
