i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
