I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
