I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My hand turned me down
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize