After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
