he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
