i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
