he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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