I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
