pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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