I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
