You can't special order awesome
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
