do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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