i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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