I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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