Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
