My hair reeks of homosexuality.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think weed is turning my hair brown
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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