i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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