How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
im holly from the hills drunk
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So vagazzling was a success
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
