come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
