What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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