at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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