i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
