I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
