need another drink. this is the easiest way
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
