My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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