Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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