What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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