Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
