I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
