fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
