I want to make a zoo with you.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
