I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
