Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
