just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
