do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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