Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
