Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
