3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
