I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
