I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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