We're facebook friends in real life
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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