Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
