I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
