The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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