That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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