Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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